Sunday, February 11, 2007

Helen's December Encounter with a Chabadnik

Helen is in a bar at 1:30 AM during Channukah. Two Chabad guys walk in.

Chabadniks: "Excuse me, are you Jewish?"
Helen: "Uh..."
Chabadniks: "You are, aren't you?"
Helen: "Uh - yeah."
Chabadniks: "Did you know it's Chanukah?"
Helen: "Yes."
Chabadniks: "Want to light the candles?"
Helen: "I already did."
Chabadniks: "How many did you light?"
Helen: "Five."


Chabadniks: "Okay. Well, did you say the blessings on the candles?"
Helen: "Yes."
Chabadniks: "Both of them?"
Helen: "Yes."


Chabadniks: "So, want a donut?"
Helen: "Okay."

[Chabadniks place donut on bar napkin in front of Helen.]

Chabadniks: "Do you have a boyfriend?"
Helen: "Yes."
Chabadniks: "Do you kiss him? Well don't kiss him. It's bad."
Helen: "..."
Chabadniks: "And when you marry him, you're going to cut off your hair and wear a wig, right?"
Helen: "Okay."

Helen's boyfriend enters.

Chabadniks [to boyfriend]: "Are you Jewish?"
Helen's boyfriend: "No."
Chabadniks: "That's okay. Have a donut."

Chabadniks leave.

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